How my body shut down for over 100 days....

It was about 4 years ago and I was deep in the trenches of motherhood while also running a really successful photography business. It was summer time which is always the craziest month for any photographer with everyone needing their family shots to show the world for Christmas. I was surviving on stupid amounts of sleep, red bull and a poor diet (which was the kids left-overs). I'll be honest with you and tell you that I knew that my body wasn't going to support me for much longer but I kept on pushing the warning signs away and willing myself to keep on going.....

That was until my tongue started to tingle....and then my frown lines on my forehead started to disappear....and I knew what was happening. Bells Palsy....I had a small bout of this while pregnant with Mooch and hoped to the 7 gods that I would never meet the friend no-one wants "Mr BP" ever again. But here I was, crying to my husband on the phone that I can't shut my eye.....again.

My face was completely paralysed down one side for over 18 weeks. Compared to my face today.

I rushed to the hospital hoping for a miracle....but instead I just cried and cried in the waiting room. So much so that even the receptionist came to check on me. By the time I saw the doctor, I resembled a stroke victim and there was nothing really that could be done. I was sent home with a dose of anti-viral medication + steroids....and I was officially broken. I didn't listen to my body....and rightfully so, my body had decided to remind me (I prefer to use the word punish to be honest) that it was the boss. Little did I know just how long I would be taught this lesson for.... I stayed in bed for a week while life went on without me. Gorgeous friends and family cooked meals while my babies were confused that my face now only showed half a smile. My mama came to do what all mamas do in emergencies...they fix everything. I had to cancel all my photo shoots that I worked hard to book + I went to ground as I willed my body to recover. 18 long weeks. My body took more than 130 days to slowly reboot, recharge and I hate to say this, but to 'trust' me again to give it the respect it deserved. I hit absolute rock bottom during those 130 days and those days were dark. I refused to go anywhere and if I did I would wear sunglasses to hide my eye and a scarf to hold up to my mouth as I spoke. I went from being confident to withdrawn and it was hard.

I spent that time truly learning about what self-love means. Eating great + healthy food, ditching the energy drinks, practicing great mindset and most importantly - listening. Listening to my body and my mind to know when to slow down. Slowly but surely I started to get some movement back in my face.....a bit of a smile, a bit of a blink and some frown lines to get me really and truly excited. 3 years later and my face still hasn't completely 100% recovered. Thankfully, you have to look pretty close to notice but I can feel it every single day. If I feel stressed, my tongue will tingle - and I stop everything and go to ground again. My body is my boss and my mind is my God. Without these 2 - I am nothing to no-one. Repeat that again. Without my body and my mind - I am nothing to no-one. So - take this story - and ask yourself - am I really truly looking after myself. Sure, you eat 4 greens and run 5km a day. Great! But are you kind to your mind aswell? As much as that 18 long weeks haunts me while I recovered from Bells Palsy - I am forever grateful that my body reminded me exactly how to live. Love Yo'Self! You will never ever regret it!